Funny Quotes

Laughter is the best medicine, and what better way to induce a hearty laugh than with a collection of funny quotes? Delve into a compilation of hilarious and witty quotes that are sure to bring a smile to your face and lighten your mood.

We are all here on earth to help others; what on e... -W. H. Auden

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.

I love funny women.... -Christine and the Queens

I love funny women.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken ... -Fred Allen

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years later it became sort of serious-looking and a bit foreboding.

This may sound funny, but I feel my most beautiful when I'm clean, fresh out of the bath. I don't have to be dressed up. I could be in comfy clothes at home hanging out with my family.

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl ... -David Brenner

When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Rais... -Emo Philips

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't wan... -Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you an... -James Thurber

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

I've had an experience through music that has touched almost every part of me. It educated me in ways that I didn't get educated in school. So we try to lay on a bit of that, through being funny, being serious, playing hard.

Instant gratification takes too long.... -Carrie Fisher

Instant gratification takes too long.

There are lots of people who mistake their imagina... -Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

When I was younger, my sister thought it was funny to pretend to punch me in the face because my mom was concerned about my teeth falling out. They were loose for a long time, and she knocked out my teeth.

I don't really find things funny unless they're deeply tragic at the same time. I think if you're funny just for the sake of being funny, it's just frivolous nonsense. To me, all the best comic plays have been written about really serious and rather bleak things.

In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.

I have been working as an actor for 16-17 years now. The funny thing is I still feel awkward in communicating with the public as a star. It hasn't been long since my drama 'Goblin' ended, and I'm looking forward for some time to rest.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.... -Clint Eastwood

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.... -Douglas Adams

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.

Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.

Atlanta might have snow and Macon might have good weather, and they're not really far apart. But there's a period of time in the year where the gnats get all over your face and they bite you. And the Macon crowd, it's funny, but they can sit there like nothing's happening and there can be gnats just biting the hell out of your face.

I don't mean to be funny.... -Yogi Berra

I don't mean to be funny.

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a pho... -Robin Williams

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

I love funny Instagram filters. Where your face changes; your eyes become big, your mouth becomes protruded. I love all of that.

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in troub... -Taylor Hawkins

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.

$Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness ... -P. J. O\'Rourke$

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone els... -Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party,... -Larry David

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when you... -Marilyn vos Savant

Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.

I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny.

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These funny quotes remind us to find joy in the little moments, embrace our quirks, and not take life too seriously. They offer a delightful escape from the stresses of everyday life and remind us of the power of laughter to uplift our spirits.

Whether you're in need of a good chuckle, a mood boost, or simply want to share a funny moment with others, these funny quotes are here to serve as a source of amusement. They can be shared with friends, family, or colleagues to spread laughter and create a joyful atmosphere.

Incorporate these funny quotes into your daily life as a reminder to find humor in every situation. Write them down on sticky notes, save them as wallpapers on your devices, or share them on social media to brighten the day of your followers.

Remember, humor is subjective, and what may be funny to one person may not be to another. Embrace the lightheartedness and choose quotes that resonate with your sense of humor. It's all about finding the funny bone that tickles your fancy.

So, let these funny quotes bring a smile to your face, lighten your heart, and remind you to laugh a little more. Share the joy with others and spread the contagious laughter that comes with appreciating the humorous side of life.

Note: While humor can be a great source of joy and laughter, it's important to be mindful of the context and audience when sharing funny quotes. Respect others' boundaries and ensure that humor is inclusive, respectful, and free from harm or offense.