My one regret in life is that I am not someone els... -Woody Allen

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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen , Director
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Woody Allen Quotes to Explore

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice....
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose....
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right....
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job....
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia....
Marriage is the death of hope....
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good....
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition....
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank....
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday....

Funny Quotes to Explore

My gift is to be funny....
The audience changes every night. You're the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh....
There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary....
I'm not so funny. Gilda was funny. I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. But she was funny. She spent more time wo...
I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting a...
It's so funny because my mom is Thai and my dad is this big American guy - and our food tastes were so similar growing up. He was meat and potatoes, I...
It's been very funny to try to act like an adult. Even getting dressed. Every day, I'm like, 'Should I wear a blazer and walk around with an umbrella?...
My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a ...
I've always loved 'Umbrella.' Funny enough, my ex-husband wrote that, and I'm not saying it was meant for me or anything - people will start twisting ...
Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested....