Milton Berle Quotes

If evolution really works, how come mothers only h... -Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

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This quote humorously questions the limitations of human evolution, as mothers often seem to require more than two hands to manage all their responsibilities.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and lose... -Milton Berle

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you lo... -Milton Berle

Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make... -Milton Berle

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten... -Milton Berle

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

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This quote metaphorically presents laughter as a brief escape or respite from the stresses and concerns of daily life. It suggests that laughter can provide a temporary sense of relaxation or relief.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for h... -Milton Berle

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Milton Berle Quotes

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