Adam Carolla Quotes

Adam Carolla is an American comedian, radio personality, and podcast host. He gained fame as the co-host of the radio show "Loveline" and later as the host of "The Adam Carolla Show" podcast. Carolla's wit, humor, and insightful commentary on various topics have made him a popular figure in the world of comedy and podcasting.

All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Repub... -Adam Carolla

I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate... -Adam Carolla

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; ... -Adam Carolla

I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.

If women built the bridges or were meant to build ... -Adam Carolla

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought... -Adam Carolla

I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not inter... -Adam Carolla

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.... -Adam Carolla

The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's n... -Adam Carolla

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.

There are certain things women are better at than ... -Adam Carolla

There are certain things women are better at than men.

A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.

In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it.

I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.

I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.

I'm not a Republican.... -Adam Carolla

I'm not a Republican.

I'd never hurt another person.... -Adam Carolla

I'd never hurt another person.

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.

No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.

I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards a... -Adam Carolla

I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't li... -Adam Carolla

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

I was a horrible student.... -Adam Carolla

I was a horrible student.

I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.

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